If you’re looking for the perfect gift for one of your misguided friends or relatives, here it is. I’m sure they’re available in all sizes.
I found these shirts in a comment to an old post in a blog I happened to come across while searching for something else. It amazes me that people can be so violent when it comes to the carbohydrate issue. It’s as if their spouses or children are being attacked.
This blog post was written back in 2004 when everyone had oh so briefly jumped on the low-carb bandwagon. They guy who wrote it was obviously worried that carbs were going to disappear from the shelves and he wanted to do his part to keep them there. You might think this was written tongue in cheek, but if you go to the post linked above, you’ll see that it isn’t.
People, we are in a Carb Crisis, and I want to do something about it. Together, we can make a difference. I even made this motivational video:
[The video is no longer available]
That’s right, kids. Tonight we launch the SAVE THE CARBS! campaign. If I could make a button for the site I would do that but I don’t know how. Do you? You should! And then give it to me! Only with eachother’s help can we SAVE THE CARBS!
But here’s an actual constructive idea that I would like to implement immediately. I am going to do so in bold.
I DECLARE THIS THURSDAY, MAY 20TH, NATIONAL CARB AWARENESS DAY.
That’s right. Spread the word. This Thursday everyone–including you–will eat a gratuitous carbohydrate. No, not your daily dose of granola; we’re talking a mega-cupcake, or a big black and white cookie. Thursday, we’re going start a revolution and start it right. And if you have a website, please spread the word. The more people who know about it, the greater the impact we can make. Plus what else do you have to do? It’s not like you have a vibrant social life. [A telling statement] I’m just saying.
So, in conclusion, don’t do it for your country. Don’t do it for your God, or your mother, or your accountant. Do it for the organ that matters most. No, not that one. Do it for your stomach. Only you can save the carbs, America. Won’t you?
Do it for your stomach? How about getting rid of the carbs for your pancreas…and your heart and your brain and your blood vessels and your kidneys and…