Since I’m on a roll with blog posts on rectal anatomy and rectal function and cosmic pizza grease, I may as well add one more to the list. It’s the last for a while, I promise.
A few years ago MD and I had our house in Boulder burglarized while we were out of town. It was a devastating experience. We didn’t have an alarm system and we didn’t have a safe. The thieves went through everything we had, dumping every single drawer, pulling all the clothes out of the closets, and opening every cabinet. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. The mish mash of stuff they took was pretty interesting, giving a kind of insight into a thief’s mind. For example, they took a leather-bound photo album full of pictures of our eldest son’s wedding worth maybe a hundred bucks and left an piece of ancient pottery right next to it worth many thousands of dollars.
The entire experience scarred me so that now I’m much more security conscious and spend some time on the internet looking for security devices and safe places to put valuables without having to go to all the trouble and expense of buying and installing a safe. In one of my searches I came upon the following underwear/brief ‘safe.’
At first I thought it was a joke. But, no, it is a legitimate company selling all kinds of quirky faux products called ‘diversion safes’ in which to hide small valuables.
Says the ad accompanying the picture:
The “Underwear / Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Underwear / Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).
They’re right, I suppose. We’re I a thief and stumbled across these briefs in the course of my burglary, I would be ‘diverted.’ I doubt that would spend a whole lot of time pawing through them looking for loose change.
Nor would I have them in my house. I would rather be robbed again that worry that a house guest or a workman might come across them and assume they were mine.
But that’s just me. If you would like to have such a ‘safe’ for your belongings, you may be able to kill two birds with one stone. Simply perform the orlistat detox program I posted on a couple of days ago, and I’m pretty sure you will end up with one or two of such safes without having to spend the $24.95. It could be a combined detox/do-it-yourself safe-making project.
If you decide to give it a try, keep me posted on the outcome.