July 1st - Happy Canada Day!

[Feelix]

Happy Canada Day to all Canadians!

Independence... Freedom.... Liberty.... It's all wonderful!

It's July 1st... for some, its an excuse to Step Off Plan to Celebrate, For others, it's a new beginning. The first of the month can wash away all the "sins" of the past and start over. What one area do you want to start over again?

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What one area do you want to start over again? Relationship with the in-laws

Today I am starting over my relationship with the in-laws. They may not know it, but today is a new day for me with them. I wash away all past history on both mine and their side and seek a healthy relationship.

DH is gone on travel and the In-Laws usually don't come to visit when he's gone. However, last night MIL asked if they could come over. I usually stress out when they come over without an agenda (birthday, grill-out, dropping off or picking up something) or if DH isn't here. Last night I decided if MIL & FIL were coming over, I would put them to work in the baby room.... I figured it would be the most helpful place to spend our energy. So I got up this morning and started washing baby clothes. I want it to be fun to sort and organize all the baby clothes. However, When I woke up this morning, I realized that i waste A LOT of energy freakin' out and stressin' about when they visit AND THAT can not be helpful to our relationship. So I did a quick breath through, accepting that they do love me and the soon-to-be delivered child I am carrying. I can imagine that if I were the grandma, I would want to be apart of the experience. I would hope that my child's SO would want to share the experience with me.

So my guard is lowered. Today, I see my in-laws and myself as a team who will influence and raise this child I am carrying. I don't need to stress about the past or worry about the future, we will deal with what we need to when we cross those bridges. Our relationship can't help but be different if I'm not on the defensive. :)

Grandparents - Do you have any advice for me?

[Mitra]

No advice from me, but good luck.

I was thinking about Independence day, too. My thoughts were that it would be good to work on the things that keep us trapped and stop us from being free or independent. I'm not talking about things like having to go to work, or look after the house or family, so much as the internal things. Feelix was thinking the same sort of thing with changing her attitude to her in-laws. Or it might be that you really want to go swimming, but your fear of what people will think of you in a swimming costume stops you; or that you keep your focus on the foods that you can't have; or make umpteen excuses not to exercise ... I'm thinking of those things where it's our own attitudes and ways of thinking that stop us feeling free.

Feelix's idea of washing it away and starting again sounds like a good way to go for July :cool:.

[Belfrybat]

Hello all. I can't find a link to the new challenge, so is it to choose something to start over with for this month? Or is that just for today?

Was nicely on-plan yesterday and surprisingly did not gain any weight from the dessert debacle of Sunday. I'm even down a pound today, so perhaps the good-for-nothing strange weight gain is over.

Hope everyone has a great day.

[maxlharris]

Feelix: It's too short notice, but the Emotional Intelligence Quick Book is a very fast read that can really make dealing with other people, even people who are difficult, much easier. EI is a great tool for things like tough inlaws (I can't speak from experience... it's my parents who make me nuts, not hers), annoying coworkers, and customer service people. Oh, and door to door Jehovah's Witnesses (side note: what's the deal there... their belief is that Heaven is space limited. If you were trying to buy a house, you wouldn't go all over town, talking about how great the house was, how you got your financing, and that these other people should really try to buy it... If space is limited, why recruit? I just don't get some people).

Is Canada really independent? They still have the Queen on their money. I wonder. Happy Canada day, anyway. Thanks for Hockey. I miss the days when we had a strong currency and it was affordable to visit.

Start Over Again: Since I'm off plan, hard core, I'd like to start over on the plan again. It's coming. Once I get my kitchen finished, and learn the lay of the local restaurants, I'm good to go. Not today. But soon. No later than next Monday.

[Ammy]

I have been WANTING to go off plan for quite some time...you know, eat the WHOLE bun, or have a SCONE with my coffee.

BUT, I haven't done it...I REALLY want to lose these last pounds (I think I said the same thing the beginning of last month-but the weight won't go away in a day, so I need to just keep on keeping on).

So...I don't necessarily want to start my eating over again, but I want to make sure I continue as I have been and not blow all the work I've done to date! I'm hosting a tailgating party on Thursday and it would be SO EASY to blow my eating because of the STRESS of the planning of the things OUT OF MY CONTROL, but so far I have stayed ON PLAN and I am GOING to STAY ON PLAN!!
Okay, enough rambling...

Food is planned/packed:
7am 2eggs, 3turkey links, 1lc toast, 1/2c OJ
11am lc goulash, 1c snow peas
3pm hb egg, 30 almonds, iced coffee
6:30pm salmon, grilled asparagus, salad with ranch/cheese/egg, crackers

Pro: 138
Ecc: 43
Fat: 160
Cal: 2206

I will go to the gym today and get back on the rowing machine. It's time.

[gitfiddle]

My thoughts were that it would be good to work on the things that keep us trapped and stop us from being free or independent.Janet, I think that's a great topic. Feelix is already on the march with it and it can be expanded to fit anyone.

Feelix, what a great attitude you are showing! To accept their love and include them in your child's life is a big step forward. As a grandparent... my grandson's mama was young with many hangups we had to steer around. It was a long time before she trusted us. What we wanted, and now have, is a relationship with our grandson that is independent of, but not overshadowing, her relationship with him.


Start Over Again: Since I'm off plan, hard core, I'd like to start over on the plan again. It's coming. Once I get my kitchen finished, and learn the lay of the local restaurants, I'm good to go. Not today. But soon. No later than next Monday. Welcome back, Max! :) You can start any time, you know. What are you doing to your kitchen?


...and it would be SO EASY to blow my eating because of the STRESS of the planning of the things OUT OF MY CONTROL, but so far I have stayed ON PLAN and I am GOING to STAY ON PLAN!!

I'm with you on that one, Amy. There are a couple of circumstances that are driving me crazy, too. You WILL stay on plan!

BC, it looks like it's the theme for the month. Sort of informal. Somehow I have a feeling that once I start looking for what's holding me back from the whole life experience, I may find more than one thing! ;):nod::rolleyes:

I am a perfectionist and I have plenty of opportunity to work on that flaw.

[maxlharris]

Welcome back, Max! :) You can start any time, you know. What are you doing to your kitchen?
...
I am a perfectionist and I have plenty of opportunity to work on that flaw.
Mostly solving the puzzle of where my wife put everything. Some stocking (we live close to a Penzey's. I missed them in NoVA. They moved in a couple months before we left, but out where we didn't go... Wife asked, going in, how many hundreds I thought I was gonna drop there. I said, probably not one. I was right. $95.XX. Course, I got a pepper grinder that I wasn't planning to get and a salt grinder that I wasn't planning to get either... at $30+/whack, that'll drive up the total pretty fast... also bought hot chocolate, pickling spice and salad dressing mix for the wife, so really, I don't think I was that bad). Some prep work (have a tenderloin and a ribeye both sitting in the fridge in their vacuum seal sack, begging to be taken apart, vacuumed and frozen), and a level of comfort seeking. I'm a dork. I'm lazy. eating off plan makes me that way.

I am always amused at the irony of a perfectionist (I'm one too) working on their perfectionism as a flaw. The act of self improvement through beating the evils of perfectionism is itself an act of perfectionism. My wife, not a perfectionist, doesn't do any of this stuff and she says all the tips in Cosmo or Men's Health just make her tired. I love that woman.

[gitfiddle]

The act of self improvement through beating the evils of perfectionism is itself an act of perfectionism.That is absolutely true, Max. All the Geezer has to do is utter the words, "That's good enough." to put the hair up at the back of my neck. :paranoid: He's a dear man but I hired a detail guy to remodel the living room. You ought to see the trimwork! :cool:

[Rhyme'n Reason]

Today I'm giving myself the freedom to attempt something I'm not good at--exercise. I went to a water fitness class this morning for the first time. It's tough for me to admit I know nothing about what I'm doing, but that's just what I did. It went pretty well. I discovered I have lousy balance in the pool (everyone says that gets better). I was amazed that it didn't feel like I was even working hard in the pool, but when I got out my legs were rubbery and I can already feel the muscles complaining!

I bought a card for 16 classes (just to get my feet wet, literally), and then I'll probably join in the fall. That will give me access to using the pool for swimming, using the exercise equipment and the weight room, and going to classes. My schedule in the fall and winter is so tight, it'll be probably mostly weekends at that point--and maybe early morning if I can get up that early.

Today's a busy day, getting ready to go away for a few days (family reunion in Ohio). The hotel allegedly has wireless, so I'll take my laptop--I plan to check in to remain accountable.

Today's food--wraps for both breakfast and lunch. I hate to do two, but I've been on the run all morning and now I'm at work. I have chicken cooked for supper, so I'll add a veggie and call it good.

Glad to see you back, Max. I missed you.

Feelix, my best advice is to be respectful of the inlaws' feelings and treat them well. It sounds like you're already doing that. I also had to remember often that everyone approaches child-rearing a bit differently. It doesn't mean that they're right or that you're right, but different things work in different homes. Whatever is suggested--listen politely, smile and say you'll think about it, and then do what your gut tells you is right. But do think about what they say, because experience teaches a lot. I agree with Carol.

Amy--I'm so with you on wanting that hamburger bun (or whatever the current crave is). But I just can't do it. I know that the first time I say, "Okay, I'll just have it--just this once," it'll be the slippery slope I've experienced so many times before.

Enough rambling...have a wonderful day, everyone!

[Feelix]

Emotional Intelligence Quick Book

I'll look into it.

Is Canada really independent?

They belong to the commonwealth but are an independent county- happened in 1982 I believe.




Janet, I think that's a great topic. Feelix is already on the march with it and it can be expanded to fit anyone.

I didn't mean to start a new monthly theme..... I was up at 4:30am and thought I'd get a thread started. It can go in ANY Direction people want. In part, it was what I was thinking this morning.....

Feelix, what a great attitude you are showing!

Thank you. I don't want to be THAT DIL - but ah... sometimes I feel like they are THOSE in-laws. I tend to throw up walls otherwise I get railroaded over... However, with a baby in the middle, I don't want her to know experience the greatness of their grandparents... They did raise a great son after all!




T

Feelix, my best advice is to be respectful of the inlaws' feelings and treat them well.

Thanks - I was bought up in a family where we TALKED about how we felt. In-laws want you to assume how they feel... be psychic. When I ask... I usually don't get a tangible answer... I like that... I don't like that... hehe I'll get "That's unique." I've never thought about it before."


AMY - the tailgate party sounds wonderful!

I hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!

[Ammy]

Amy--I'm so with you on wanting that hamburger bun (or whatever the current crave is). But I just can't do it. I know that the first time I say, "Okay, I'll just have it--just this once," it'll be the slippery slope I've experienced so many times before.

Not just a slippery slope...it'd be something THIS Bad!!


http://www.comics.com/comics/cowandboy/archive/images/cowandboy2052399080701.gif

[Rhyme'n Reason]

What a great image! I think I'll put it on my fridge!:idea:

[Ammy]

Yep...can't you just FEEL the GRAVEL on your bare body parts???!!!!!

TOTALLY not worth it!!

[Feelix]

UPDATE - so after being stressfree about in-laws.. I just got a message they are not coming over.... HEHEHE....

[Ammy]

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T WASTE ANY TIME STRESSING ABOUT THE VISIT???

Oh, what a wasted morning that would have been, but now...you DIDN'T stress, used your morning to your advantage (I assume) and all is well!!!

Way to start July Feelix!!

[Feelix]

I did.. I really did..... I was in the baby room cleaning up and sorting through clothes and gifts.... I had a great productive time! and it was Stress FREE!

[Claudette]

Feelix, not a grandma yet and hope not for a while as our only son is so "not ready" to marry anyone, he needs to grow up first.

Inlaws: my MIL was very bossy when I first married her son some 35 years ago, but I soon realized, he was her first, she had a difficult time having him and the other two boys that followed, so I cut her some slack. I listened to her suggestions, smiled, relaxed , treated them both with respect and then DH & I did things how we wanted to. She did have some great suggestions for me when we eventually had our only son.

Now, as both of my parents are gone, she and my FIL are close, like my 2nd parents. She is beginning to have dementia, so I don't know how much longer she will be 'mentally with it". Not long ago, I overheard her say at a wedding to a friend, "I am so lucky to have loving DIL'S, especially, Claudette, as she treats me like I am her Mother".
Wow, new beginniings can really change things.

Well, didn't mean to get so winded, just my opipion of course.

July 2008:
coninue on plan
try to post more
continue with the exercise as I am now wearing a size 10, my goal is as low as I can go by Oct 08, my birthday.

Will try to check in more.

[Ammy]

I'm so happy for you Feelix!!!

I changed my supper to another dbl cheeseburger and caeser (spelled correctly Ruth!!) salad from Wendy's. We're so busy this week, it's nice to have that as an option.

I hit 45ecc, 128pro, 153 fat, 2118 cal.
boy, those almonds sure add fat/calories to a day, huh??!!

[Feelix]

Ah yes... but almonds are soooo tasty and something to look forward too!

[Ammy]

It's true...especially with yogurt!! MMmmmmm

Well, my day is done.
I worked
worked out
worked on Non-profit stuff
hand weeded half the yard
trimmed the tomatoes
and
watered the dying grass

It's been a full day.

Now I'm heading up to take a shower, and to read some of my book. In my book, they're hiking on the Superior Hiking Trail (in MN). I love to read stories about places I know and love!

[Missy]

Sigh....ya'll ready to have me back?! I'm warning you though...I'll be in a HEAP. :cool::nod: I HAVE to do something. Like Max..it won't be IMMEDIATE return...but one looming in the near future.

Felix. I feel for you.. I do. I understand what your going through..and it USED to tear me up. They used to have a field day with me..but, I quit 'allowing' them to do so. What I mean about 'allowing' had nothing to do with them and everything to do with ME and my thoughts about them and what I felt they were projecting about their feelings about me, real or imagined. Once I quite doing that and learned to set up my own mental boundries about my feelings..why that stress just simply vanished. Perhaps it's also due to my own maturity, and how one grows more confidence over time in the length of ones marriage?? We just set to go on about our life as we want it to be. I don't get their's at times but quite frankly, I don't care...and they no longer seem to concern themselves about ours.

There was a point in time Felix that I would have DEARLY loved my mother in law to 'love' me...(thats when I deeply cared emotionally)...now that I don't..lol...she does. :eek: GO FIGURE. I'm not necessarily 'close' with my inlaws...but I just stopped putting the amount of effort that was seemingly backfiring on me. Now that I don't, my MIL seems to think alot of me. Again, GO FIGURE! :cool:

It also helps that my husband and I have concurring agreement on the car ride home from an EITHER side parental visit that BOTH sides are nuts. :eek::o:D

[Feelix]

Sigh....ya'll ready to have me back?! I'm warning you though...I'll be in a HEAP. :cool::nod: I HAVE to do something. Like Max..it won't be IMMEDIATE return...but one looming in the near future.

Felix. I feel for you.. I do. I understand what your going through..and it USED to tear me up. They used to have a field day with me..but, I quit 'allowing' them to do so. What I mean about 'allowing' had nothing to do with them and everything to do with ME and my thoughts about them and what I felt they were projecting about their feelings about me, real or imagined. Once I quite doing that and learned to set up my own mental boundries about my feelings..why that stress just simply vanished. Perhaps it's also due to my own maturity, and how one grows more confidence over time in the length of ones marriage?? We just set to go on about our life as we want it to be. I don't get their's at times but quite frankly, I don't care...and they no longer seem to concern themselves about ours.

There was a point in time Felix that I would have DEARLY loved my mother in law to 'love' me...(thats when I deeply cared emotionally)...now that I don't..lol...she does. :eek: GO FIGURE. I'm not necessarily 'close' with my inlaws...but I just stopped putting the amount of effort that was seemingly backfiring on me. Now that I don't, my MIL seems to think alot of me. Again, GO FIGURE! :cool:

It also helps that my husband and I have concurring agreement on the car ride home from an EITHER side parental visit that BOTH sides are nuts. :eek::o:D

Thank you.... I appreciate it. It's been a journey to say the least. I think I'm getting to the point in this pregnancy where I don't have the energy to waste. The Picture is getting clearer.