When your Spouse Doesn't Join your efforts

[cmcole]

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April 28, 2006

For richer, for poorer, in weight gain or weight loss

By JOANNE RICHARD, TORONTO SUN

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Losing weight may be good for your health, but bad for your marriage.
Michael, 40, embarked on a major weight loss regime and lost 104 pounds -- but nearly lost his marriage too.
"It was causing too many problems in the marriage and I valued my relationship over my health so I quit losing weight," says the technology salesman from Richmond Hill, who packed every pound back on -- and more.
His wife, who is also obese, made it abundantly clear she did not support his new lifestyle and healthful eating habits; she sabotaged his efforts by refusing to cook up healthier meals and keeping junk food in the house. Their day-to-day interactions became incredibly strained and sex dwindled to once every few months.
"We continued to grow further apart -- I guess I could have gone elsewhere for sex and companionship, but I'm a committed and faithful guy," says Michael, adding that once he quit losing he didn't gain much at home. Things got a "bit happier" on the homefront, but today the excess pounds continue to weigh him down emotionally and in career advancement.
Weight loss changes the dynamics of a relationship, say the experts. "Losing weight generates happiness and improves relationships -- in the majority of cases. Sadly, not so, in others. Changes can generate anxiety, anger, insecurities. Spouses can feel threatened and react negatively -- the relationship can destabilize," says Dr. Eileen Alexander, a Burlington medical doctor.
Competition and jealousy may take root, says New York psychologist Dr. Debbie Magids, especially when it comes to the increased outside attention the other spouse experiences based on the weight loss. "There is a safety when your spouse is not as attractive to other people. It can feel very threatening and insecurities may begin to surface."
Spouses may actually resort to sabotaging their spouse's weight loss efforts, says Toronto weight loss coach Harvey Brooker, who has personally endured the wrath of irate spouses calling him up and reaming him out for being a "homewrecker. Some of them detest me.
"The threat of a slim, trim mate to one who is still indulging and bulging, is in my observations not a minor problem," says Brooker, adding that rifts can also arise when the dieting spouse is no longer their obese partner's eating buddy.
But even a thin partner can experience issues with a slimming spouse: "When he loses weight and becomes more confident and frisky, this can also cause a rift because she's accustomed to a non-existent sex life and all of a sudden things change," he says.
Also, adds Magids: "If one of the spouses is used to being the one who gets the attention -- or has thinness as their thing -- when the other starts to get the attention, it can also cause a lot of jealousy and competition."
Co-operation is essential -- the entire household has to get on side in order for an individual to be successful. "The other person must change to the new good behaviours or there will be a price to pay in regards to their relationship," says Brooker, of The Harvey Brooker Weight Loss for Men clinic on Dufferin St.
According to Marilyn Belleghem, "I have had clients who promise the kids pizza and pop when they know their spouse is trying to eat healthier. I have also had men as clients buy their dieting wife chocolates and then act hurt that she isn't appreciative."
Belleghem, a registered marriage and family therapist, says that couples are happiest when they have the most in common. "When one spouse changes, the balance changes and the whole relationship changes. If one gets a much higher paying job or completes a new level of education, the couple needs to work to rebalance the relationship. How well they adapt to change will determine if this is an easy process or a relationship breaker."

//

[SherryJ]

Sounds like an attitude adjustment is needed, huh? :)

Sherry

[Missy]

My approach to my spouses part of my new health regime has been not to force it upon him, but be willing to cook both ways...(within reason)...and I was so pleased to hear him say last night, as I mentioned I'd like to try making myself a low carb pancake while we camp...but that I'd make "regular" ones for him..and he said, why? I'll just give yours a try. I was very pleased to hear him say so....but, I don't want him to feel that my new lifestyle in anyway is forcing him to change.

I feel for people who's family support isn't there.

[Inez]

It sounds to me like food rules that woman's life and thus her husband's life, too. Even though he's says he'd rather have her than the weight loss now, I'm sure it'll cause problems down the road. Maybe he should try low-carbing -- I bet the poor man was on a low-fat diet and his wife might feel more comfortable cooking and eating low-carb.

[Gaelen]

My approach to my spouses part of my new health regime has been not to force it upon him, but be willing to cook both ways...(within reason)...and I was so pleased to hear him say last night, as I mentioned I'd like to try making myself a low carb pancake while we camp...but that I'd make "regular" ones for him..and he said, why? I'll just give yours a try. I was very pleased to hear him say so....but, I don't want him to feel that my new lifestyle in anyway is forcing him to change. I feel for people who's family support isn't there.

Well, Missy...tro try to keep that support coming, don't forget to check out the Pancakes (http://www.proteinpower.com/forum/showthread.php?t=53) thread in recipes...I can tell you Almond Cranberry pancakes are quite portable and even my picky 12 year old nephew likes them. If you don't like cranberries, you can use fresh blueberries or raspberries, and they're even tasty without berries. ;)

[Thedabara]

I, for one, am so very glad that my DH did not join my WOE until after a year on plan. He never sabotaged my eating, and was always encouraging. However, a year later he did try PP, and lost weight so rapidly! Had he joined me that first month or two I would have been so discouraged that he had no trouble losing weight while I had to fight for every pound! He can handle so amny more carbs than I can, but now it is not an issue at all. I probably wouldn't have quit that first year, but I wouldn't have felt quite so good about my success. Funny thing is, we got to our goals at about the same time! Now, this household is a mostly LC house.

[Missy]

I did use one of those pancake recipes Gaelen, thanks for the advise though. He and I both liked it. I'll have to try those Almond Cranberry ones next. He'd really like that, I'm sure. I went straight to that recipe section of our board and printed out a few. I tried the German pancake recipe..and it was quite tasty.

Thedabara, I know what you mean, that would be very dishearting if both where trying and one was quickly losing. I understand what you mean, and where you are coming from. When my husband decides to take some off, it just happens quickly for him...so it goes for men. But, I appreciate his support and understanding right now none the less.

I'm doing MY PART in gaining and keeping his support by NOT having a "Holier then Thou" type of thinking either. I think that's important.

[gitfiddle]

My DH can't imagine life without carbs but I have to remember I was desperate and more than a little frightened when I traded carbs for health. I cook LC with a few things thrown in that don't generally tempt me. I'll buy goodies, but I won't bake them. That was brought home to me yesterday at a neighbor's party that was almost entirely carby and he just plunged into them.

My chocolates on valentines day turned into sugarless russel stover's, but now it's just flowers and kisses. Much better!

[backpacker]

My wife doesn't do LC really, and doesn't need to. She always hovers within a few pounds of her ideal weight.

However, I do 100% of the cooking, and I don't throw anything in that's carby. At first she was putting up a stink and wasn't happy with the fact that I wasn't cooking what I call "crap" anymore. Luckily, I cook good tasting food, so she never complains anymore.

Since she started eating low carb by proxy she has noticed miscellaneous general health improvements. Now when we go out to eat she avoids fries, pasta, potato's, chips, most breads, and most carbs in general. When she does eat it she get's a tummy ache and asks why I let her eat it. :)

She get's carbs through fruit juice (organic and no added sugar), milk, and a few other treats, but generally she prefers LC eating now.

[Viking Dan]

My wife eats low carb stuff (when I'm watching her :p)

[Mitra]

My wife doesn't do LC really, and doesn't need to.

... Since she started eating low carb by proxy she has noticed miscellaneous general health improvements.

That sounds as if she does need to eat low carb - just not for weight control. The various PP books give examples of people who were thin enough but needed to watch their carbs for other reasons. It's easy to get caught up in weight control, but there are other, probably more important benefits for many people.

[Omlette]

My husband will support me in eating low carb, but he will not eat low carb. He eats no veggies. His side dishes consists of: potatoes, pasta, corn, and rice. He will eat sweet potatos. If I ask, he will prepare his own side dishes, but otherwise, I do it.

He is a powerlifter and very muscular. He definiely needs a lot more carbs than I do, but not as many as he eats. We both know that sweets are our downfall. If we buy them, and they are in the house, we get them out of there pretty quickly.

My son prefers to eat his meat first, cheese, or yogurt, then he goes for the other stuff. I'm okay with that.

I just have to get myself under control.

[maxlharris]

Hrm. I think the wife is looking at it wrong. I have lost my weight FOR my wife. She wasn't complaining, but let me suggest that the benefits of losing are more than just loose clothing. *wink wink nod nod*

Beyond that, I want to be more attractive to wife. I wanted to correct any early health problems that might be life shortening early so I could spend more time with her. Granted, I wanted more for me, but I also wanted more for her too.

DW does not LC. She did it once (Atkins), got bored eating a lot of bunless burgers. She does a zone style diet. It fits her lifestyle. DW doesn't have anything like what I had to lose. She doesn't even have anything like what I have left to lose. She doesn't have to lose anything. She could, but she doesn't have to.

We work in waves. She lost some and it motivated me. Then I lost some and it motivates her. We don't compete. We're not in the same league. And DW isn't competitive. And I don't compete with her on anything.

I think the story of the guy who put back 100+ pounds just to please his wife is a cautionary tale of a marriage that was doomed to end at some point anyway. I was reading "Blink" and this guy can tell, from watching a 15 minute discussion about an issue in a new couple's marriage if they will still be married in 15 years, with 92%+ accuracy. Slick. And, if they fight over him getting his health, they were doomed, even if he never lost the weight. And putting it back isn't gonna help in the LT.

[zip11777]

Now that I've been on Low Carb for nearly a year, I see the next struggle is integrating the changes into a Long Term plan. Getting my wife and kids on board is the next tough part and frankly, I am not sure I will be succesfull until SHE has the same epiphany I did: my Dr. told me I was on my way to developing diabetes and I better read PP!

The obvious results (lost 40 pounds) and the less obvious results (triglicerides dropped from over 300 to under 100) motivate me to continue, and I am hoping she is motivated by my example.
She 'does' Weight watchers, but her Dr. has not given her any compelling reason to lose weight.

Foood was always a bog part of our relationship in the past - dinners out, cooking for each other, and each others families, holiday favorites etc. (My docotor warned me the most difficult part of the PP lifetyle is the 'cultural' or social part: who want s to hang out witha guy that won't break bread with them?)

We'll see how the next year goes, maybe she'll jump on board.

[lczeledoc]

Following the PPLP it kind makes you a pariah among your friends/buddies. At work people tend to eat out at least once a week. I hardly ever go out with my co-workers because of the food choices. Today I went out for lunch with a friend, she is a carb addict. We went to this MExican place, I special ordered my meal to make it low carb, add extra salad and meat and remove the rice, beans and tortillas. People were giving me the eye, as if I was unreasonable for asking those things. That's why I hardly wver go out with non-PP or Atkins people.
At home, my wife has reduced her intake of carbs, but she doesn't follow a low carb diet. She used to give me grief for not partaking of the family carby fare. But we have come to an understanding, and she leaves me alone. At least she eats PPLP style 60% of the time. All her metobolic indicators are good, even though she is about 30lb overweight.

[Gaelen]

Following the PPLP it kind makes you a pariah among your friends/buddies. At work people tend to eat out at least once a week. I hardly ever go out with my co-workers because of the food choices. Today I went out for lunch with a friend, she is a carb addict. We went to this MExican place, I special ordered my meal to make it low carb, add extra salad and meat and remove the rice, beans and tortillas. People were giving me the eye, as if I was unreasonable for asking those things. That's why I hardly wver go out with non-PP or Atkins people.


I either must have much more tolerant friends, or just be much less affected by any thoughts they might have...I eat out or in cafeteria/restaurant situations with co-workers at least once a week, and share meals with friends all the time.

Some of my attitude (you make your choices, I'm going to make mine) may just head potential issues off at the pass, but I really have only once or twice in the five years I've been doing this encountered someone who was virulently against controlled carb eating. I don't preach about what I'm doing, nor do I tolerate preaching about alternatives to my own choices...I just remove the issue from the field of discussion.

As for spouses/partners not following the nutrition program you're following....I can't ever remember a boyfriend or partner following whatever diet I was on. Ever. And as the principal chef in the house, I made what I was going to eat, enough for both of us. If the boyfriend/partner wanted something else, he was welcome to buy it and cook it and clean up after it, but I was going to make a delicious meal according to my dietary choices, and I was only going to make one meal.

If my partner/boyfriend was allergic to something, obviously I didn't make it...but if he just wanted mashed potatoes or corn, and I didn't want to eat those things, I didn't make them routinely (maybe once in a great while as a special treat, but not every meal.)

I do think that choosing a special way of eating involves making some personal choices--and that some of those choice may be that you're just not going to have certain foods in the house. So my partners and boyfriends were always free to go buy/cook/clean up after those food choices if they wanted them--just not free to pressure me into making those things.

Mileage will vary. ;)

[maxlharris]

Funny story. I've been taking a break from LC for a week or two (restarting in KC on Sunday/Monday). Went out to lunch with friends, send off one of our classmates into the private sector. I got a sandwich. When it came to the table, everyone was talking, and I take a bite and there's a sudden stop. And everyone is looking at me with this bun in hand.

"What?," say I.

An intrepid coworker says, "You. Eating bread."

I had a laugh.

Perception of pickiness is maybe about conditioning as much as anything. Of course, at the mexican, I'd order fajitas, then eat everything with a fork instead of the tortillas.

[WakefieldWendy]

A couple of random, unconnected thoughts:

1. I'm not sure that the "jealousy" angle is most prominent, as the article described (i.e. I don't want my spouse to look attractive to other people and therefore have the option to cheat on me). Maybe it is, but it feels to me like there is something deeper going on. More like "If my spouse gets it together and I don't, that makes me even more of a loser". "If my spouse gets it together, it means I have to face the reality that getting it together is actually possible." "If my spouse gets it together, it won't be the two of us together against the fat-phobic world". "If my spouse gets it together, then the food I used to eat with joy will now be eaten with guilt". etc. etc.

2. I don't think it is fair to criticize someone for having treats or ordering pizza. Each person gets to make their own decisions. I don't get to decide I want to eat a certain way, and then the assumption is that if my spouse loves me, s/he will eat the same way. It is unfair to offer foods to a person who has said they don't want them, but not unfair to eat them yourself or allow your children to eat them.

Of course, in a working marriage (and I agree with those who suggest this wasn't a working marriage), when we set out to do something difficult and important, we can discuss it with our spouse, and our spouse will want to do what s/he can to help. That may include not ordering pizza, or not making popcorn etc. But I don't think it is fair to insinuate that it is right to expect that the spouse will change his/her whole eating pattern.

3. My wife and I don't eat the same foods. She is vegetarian. While she thinks it important to get enough protein and fat, she isn't low carb. Even the foods we like in common (i.e. eggs) we like in different ways. It really is comical. What we have noticed is that the foods we do both like are bad for both of us (pizza, pasta being the big ones) and so when we let go of eating together, we eat more healthily.

Some day, with kids perhaps, we'll figure out how to make full meals... a meat, a vegetarian protein, vegetables.

4. I definitely am not losing weight for my wife. She doesn't care what I weigh in terms of attractiveness. Of course, she wants me to be healthy, but she wants that to include overall wellness, and she doesn't want mental and emotional health to take a backseat to physical health. So she is very supportive of eating goals that are achievable and don't increase feelings of guilt or stress.

[Bonnie]

It is a shame when spouses do not support one another. I think that a good relationship needs mutual support.

When hubby and I decided to quit smoking 20 something years ago, we did it together. We could not have done it separately. I watched my mother quit smoking while my father refused and he did sabatage her efforts. I don't know that he did it deliberately, but after a year or 2 she was smoking again.

Now with low carb, hubby and I are again doing it together. I don't know that either of us could do it alone. In keeping with inspiration, we inspire each other to continue to low carb.

Bonnie

[gitfiddle]

Now with low carb, hubby and I are again doing it together. I don't know that either of us could do it alone. In keeping with inspiration, we inspire each other to continue to low carb.
I am the only low-carber in my house. It works for me and the guys just don't want to give up their favorite foods. They've even started going on grocery runs so they can get what they like so I don't have to browse through the Little Debbie section. Then they store the sweets in the pantry where I don't have to look at them. I think that's co-operation.

[Bonnie]

I am the only low-carber in my house. It works for me and the guys just don't want to give up their favorite foods. They've even started going on grocery runs so they can get what they like so I don't have to browse through the Little Debbie section. Then they store the sweets in the pantry where I don't have to look at them. I think that's co-operation.

I think that is support also. They are not "rubbing your nose" in the Little Debbies. I think that is what families are supposed to do.

Bonnie

[bigdawg_SLC]

I've never had my spouse on the lifestyle with me ... it's worked out! She does her thing and helps me do mine! each to their own ... I suppose!

[Mal Lady]

It is hard to lc without the other spouse being on it. I have not had as much success as I am now - with him being on it. The smell of Orville Redenbacher Corn on the Cob Popcorn popping in the microwave - is more than I can ever take. I am a popcornaholic. Then, I have to have a Diet Pop with it - never water. So now, when the popcorn is popped for a once a month treat - the bag is shared and not pop 2 bags. So, I am not being sabotaged at all. Carb Smart ice cream bars with the chocolate coating is the only ice cream in the house now. Before, it was butter pecan and all the other favorites. It is so much better if the spouse goes with the grain than always being a piece of sandpaper. JMHO!!:lol::D

Sharon

[bigdawg_SLC]

I need to re-post here. It's now a year later since my last post on this thread ... I mentioned that my wife did NOT participate, nor has she EVER participated with me.

This time around ... meaning since MARCH of this year ... she has been watching the carb intake ... she's limiting the pasta's, breads and starchy veggies at meal time. The cool thing about that ... she's seeing the benefits of a "lower" carb diet. The more she see's it ... the more on board she is! I'm actually kind of excited ... she's going to the gym with me every morning too! IT'S AWESOME!

[gitfiddle]

The cool thing about that ... she's seeing the benefits of a "lower" carb diet. The more she see's it ... the more on board she is! I'm actually kind of excited ... she's going to the gym with me every morning too! IT'S AWESOME!Oh, Dean, that's exciting! I hope she sees results quickly before she gets tired of it. If she's doing resistance, she'll see her body tighten up quickly. That's what did it for me. I'm hooked.

[Mitra]

That's good news, Dean! I'm glad it's helping her, and it has to be easier for you if you're both following the same approach.

[bigdawg_SLC]

It really is kind of exciting....:eek::eek::eek:

[hawk]

I just saw this post. It is exciting Dean to have a spouse working out with you and accepting and encouraging you.
My husband works and does some heavy phyical labor. Climbing around on things and lifting things.He is welding a room out of steel this week and replacing 100 lb valves in a giant compressor., He will not work out. But on the other hand, he is VERY insistant about eating lo carb. When he saw me lose the first time, he decided this was a good way to eat. When my BP came down, he decided to be on it even though he has no weight issue and his BP is perfect. He drinks a couple beers every couple days and he says he'd rather save his carbs for that. He drinks some kind of fancy dark lager that is locally made w/ no preservatives. At work he has salad and meat at lunch. Eggs for breakfast w/ sausage. Won't touch a donut. He does eat chips with meals sometimes, for the crunchy & salt, but that has no effect on me. I'm not a chip eater. IF it was, he would stop because he would not want to tempt me. Mostly we eat meat and greens for dinner. I add color to our salads and whatever I make is fine with him..except fish, so I have it for lunch or when he is not home.Once in a while a grilled salmon steak will entice him. The big thing is, I never asked or expected him to change his horrible way of eating fast food and junk that he was brought up on. He is one of those blessed people that is uneffected by it. But he asks questions and when I explain, he sees the logic in this PP plan.
It is a big help to me to have a clean cabinet of carbs. He has a spoon on the freezer outside. Occasional ice cream happens out there and he does not want me to see. I think that it is sweet. If he had BP or BS issues, I might be concerned but it still has to be his decision.

[pelhamga]

what a nice guy

[artsdesireincanada]

Vicking Dan, That is nasty!!! My hubby used to do that to me, I am diabetic and can't do the junk food stuff. It all came to head one day, and he is much better now. Infact, he did me a "favor" by finishing up the popcorn one day, and as he is an evening muncher has started eating celery with his salsa, and dips. hehehehhee I don't cook HC, so it is now working out.

Boy oh boy, I had lost four pounds went to a birthday party ate LC except for a piece of cake and I have stalled out on the weight loss. Anyone else this happened to? I even put the weight back which was frustrating as it was only one piece of cake.

[BlancE]

My DH finally decided to try LC a couple of months ago and lost 12 lbs. on a pretty much maintenance level diet. Then the hurricane came and all thoughts of LC were out the window. There are only so many days you can eat grilled meat. I never thought I would say that, but it's true.

He's ready to restart. I need to as well. Maybe we can plan meals together. It's the failure to plan that always gets me.

[SandyHanson]

Good luck with that, Beth. I wish I could get my hubby on the plan. He doesn't really need to lose any weight, but he eats WAY too much sugar, and has had elevated triglycerides in the past, and probably does now.

[Ammy]

GF is a "low fatter"...but often munches on M&M's in the evening...oh, and popcorn during sports.
She also doesn't eat Mammels (meat with fat)...So we often eat different things.

But it works out...she bends a little and I bend a little and usually we end up with 1% fat things like cottage cheese and milk.

[MichelleAkers]

Following the PPLP it kind makes you a pariah among your friends/buddies. At work people tend to eat out at least once a week. I hardly ever go out with my co-workers because of the food choices.

Wow -- my experience has been SO different! I eat out with friends on the weekends all the time and have only once had a real menu problem (a Vietnamese "pho" place -- there was literally no dish I could eat more than 3% of). New friends are often solicitious/concerned that because of my low-carb thing I should always choose the restaurant, and I assure them that I love trying new places and I'll be just FINE "anywhere but a pho noodle house." (Well, I guess dim sum would be another exception, come to think of it. But when I decided to go off LC for a day in order to have dim sum, I found that it those carbs were no longer the be-all and end-all I had remembered anyway.)

Really, though -- 'most anywhere has either caesar or chef salad, or various meat/fish/poultry choices. Mexican? Taco salad. Italian? Chicken caesar, no croutons. Thai? Satay. Ethiopian? Spicy beef, green chicken, greens... and ask for a fork. Yeah, so you're supposed to use the injira bread and eat with your hands. They're used to it. You're spending money and leaving a tip. Trust me, my favorite Ethiopian restaurant folks are SO happy to keep the injira and bring me a fork.

One tactic I have found very useful: When ordering I just say, "No potatoes/pasta/rice/bread." I don't suggest that they substitute anything -- but most of the time the waitperson will say, "Would you like extra vegetables?" If the vegie is one I'll eat...not corn, LOL!... I say, absolutely, that'd be great. Somehow letting them make the suggestion waaaaay reduces the complication value and the impression that I'm being difficult/demanding. (And often even if the waitperson doesn't ask, the chef will just do that anyway. They hate sending out half-empty plates.)

-- Michelle (great, now I want Ethiopian food, and can't get there until Saturday -- waaah!)

[SandyHanson]

If the vegie is one I'll eat...not corn, LOL!...


:lol: That reminds me - the first time I did low carb and we went to a restaurant, when they asked what kind of potato I wanted, I asked if I could have a double serving of vegetable instead - without asking what it was. My plate came half covered with CORN. And it was the cheap, canned kind, not really all that good. Which, I guess was all right because I was not at all tempted to eat it all!

[Frank Hagan]

Maybe its the restaurants here in California (where "weird diets" are not unusual), but all I have to do is say I'm eating low carb and the waiters/waitresses will start making recommendations. Even places like Chili's ... we just ate there on Sunday with family, and the waiter suggested a salad with grilled chicken, combining two different entrees. With dressing on the side, I just had to avoid the beans and corn in the salad (it was kind of a TexMex thing, I guess). I was impressed the waiter knew the difference between diets because this was definitely NOT a low fat diet ... it had bacon, hard boiled egg and cheese in it.

[Griff]

That's also been my experience. We went to Islands and discovered that they have a "protein platter." At Denny's, they worked with us to substitute meat or veggies for potatoes. If you tell them your results, they often get interested and work to help you out.

[kap]

My youngest commented the other day that ' i want the food that you cooked before it was better'. What she was referring to was that i went back to cooking very high carb food for all of them. My daughter prefers what i eat now. She loves mackeral (peppered) with baby tomatoes and a dallop of mayo. I also make meatballs and the simple tom sauce (red onion, oregano and can of chopped tom's) they will have the pasta with this, i also top this with a strong cheese. So all in all she loves it. My eldest is going to the gym now (wants muscles!lol) he will somtimes has a protein shake before going or after. He knows that he needs to eat all good protein foods. My middle child is a bland eater! to say the least. He is very carby but he will try most foods that i cook. He loves plain meat just on its own (mind you so do i).
I have stopped buying them bottled juices aswell-so much sugar in these. They don't mind but im sure they buy them when they go out to the town! i will not stop them but just advise them of how unhealthy it is.
We are all getting there!

[Marbles]

I have, and have had most of the issues mentioned in the article in the 1st post of this thread. My kids handle my controlled carb better than my husband does. He actively tries to sabotage me, despite of the fact that this lifestyle controls some of my medical issues better than medication does! The kids can appreciate that I am not sick as often when I behave food wise.

[Driven]

Wow, that is truly awful when people who are out to sabotage you are people who 'love' you. :confused:

When I am out, I tell people that I am on an "insulin control diet". They automatically assume that I am either diabetic, pre-diabetic or suffer from some exotic and rare condition.

They don't ask many further questions, and don't question my food choices. Incidentally, I had to eat out the other night, and ordered chicken fajitas. I simply didn't use the tortillas and rice, and mixed everything together and had a huge "Fajita Stir Fry". It was excellent, very filling and low carb. (Chicken breast, onion, pepper strips, lettuce, salsa, cheese and guacamole).

Kind of good to know... most restaurants have fajitas...

[gitfiddle]

When I am out, I tell people that I am on an "insulin control diet". They automatically assume that I am either diabetic, pre-diabetic or suffer from some exotic and rare condition.That's one I've never heard, and I like it. It's better than saying "diabetic" because they'll argue that "a little bit won't hurt". :rolleyes:

I also tend to order a fajita when it's available. My favorite restaurant also has Alambres, which I like even better because it has chorizo along with the beef and onions and peppers.

[Driven]

Another couple of resources for great recipes that may help get the kids and hubbies on board are:

http://www.chowstalker.com/, and
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

If you sign up for the Marks Daily Apple newsletter, you will get free downloads of cookbooks, one of which is all coconut based.

These sites lean towards 'paleo' eating, but that means that the recipes are low carb and contain good fats and proteins.


B