7/15 Something to think about...

[Billie]

Claim your personal power.
Meditations for Women

I don't know about you but I allowed so many things in my life to take away my power. I allowed that, many causes but I am the one who needs to accept responsibiltyfor eating the way that I used to, on occasion get off track still, for not exercising, for not taking the time to invest in a research on the subject.

If we were diagnosed with a particular illness, I think that I would spend time researching and trying to get a concrete foundation for the cause of it, or what I can do about it, you know an education of why and how.

As obese people, we sometimes have left that one fly out the window. We relied on many others, we believed in things, like low fat here, or counting calories or whatever you wish, We allowed crazy thinking like, my mom and dad were heavy, or diabetes runs in our family, or all my life I have never exercised, you know those kind of thoughts claim away our personal power.

If you need to reclaim that personal power in your life, there is no time like right this minute. In fact, this is the absolute best time to take the power away from the demons or the false truths or whatever has catapulted you into disconnect with your personal power and your ultimate good health. It's today!

Make it a great day!

[hawk]

You know Billie, On that note, I've discovered something about myself this last few months. I facillitate a group of women in a recovery and codependant group called "Celebrate Recovery" at my church each week.
I talk to them alot about personal resposibliliy and not blaming anyone else for their behavior.
When we hit on perfectionism, there is one woman who has a major eating disorder. She is 62 and looks 40. Very awesome woman. I never would have guessed. She has the body of a 16 year old. She talked about her husbands addiction to pornography and her disorder and how she realized that her desire to BE perfect came out of her codependant state. She talked about coming to the group for her husbands sake and being in denial for a long time blaming her problems on him and not taking responsiblility for them.
Most people with a perfection problem wear a mask. They want to appear perfect to the world and won't let anyone see their home.They won't start a new relationship. They lie about themselves .They want everyone to think they have a perfect marraige when the opposite is true.They freeze.

Well.. because this lady is very cool and I have always thought alot of her, I began to wonder if my own desire to do everything perfectly was a problem or an asset to myself. It caught me off gaurd. Here I am leading the class. I had a weird, bad childhood but thought I was over it just fine.
I don't blame my parents for how I am now and have forgiven all that stuff and gone on. My mom is a perfectionist and expected me to be. No excuse for not sewing a perfect zipper in that dress. No excuse for doing a bad cleaning job inthe bathroom. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to do a great job.I appreciated her for teaching me a good work ethic.
In searching myself and asked myself questions about trying to always do my best at anything I do, I realized that many times I do not challenge myself or try to do certain things, or procrastinate because I may make a mistake. It might not turn out. If I fail ,then I'll know that my greatest fears about not being able to do....(fill in the blank) may be true.
One of my biggest things is my art work. Something I love . I never tried to draw people because someone told me it was too difficult. I began to work on peoples faces this year and found it is my greatest joy to reproduce that the expression on the face,or in the eyes. Yet sometimes I look at a challenging face and think.. Oh man ..how am I going to do that ?When I push myself to finially do it, I look at it and think, this will never become what I want it to be, it'll never turn out ,but pretty soon it begins to look three demensional and I get excited. I do it every time!!! How rediculous!!

Now today, your post.. Do I sabotage my own eating because I don't think a good looking figure is obtainable?? If I try and fail , will I look at myself as a failure? Am I in denial about my own perfectionism??? There is an opposite to most flaws. I want to be perfect so if I don't try, I can't fail.
My kids have even caught on to me. They said to me ..."Mom,, you always taught us to do a good job, but you also taught us that we could do anything we set our hearts on. The sky is the limit!! Why don't you believe it for yourself??"
I need to claim my personal power. Boy does my signiture line tell on me or what???

[cmcole]

My mom is a perfectionist and expected me to be. No excuse for not sewing a perfect zipper in that dress. No excuse for doing a bad cleaning job inthe bathroom. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to do a great job.I appreciated her for teaching me a good work ethic.
In searching myself and asked myself questions about trying to always do my best at anything I do, I realized that many times I do not challenge myself or try to do certain things, or procrastinate because I may make a mistake. It might not turn out. If I fail ,then I'll know that my greatest fears about not being able to do....(fill in the blank) may be true.

Who let you into my life?
Sabatage!! I've even impacted my children, who berate themselves for not accomplishing 100% on something, when they've done their best.

Boy, I remember coming home with a 97 and having my mother wonder where the other three marks were.

I tried my best not to portray that to my children, but I guess they saw me being so hard on myself, they just picked up that perfection was the ideal, and that was all I would accept. A poor example, to say the least.

[SherryJ]

Well, USUALLY about now, in jest, I'd say, "If it's not one thing, it's your MOTHER!!!" However, this time, I'm shaking my head, and saying it, sadly...

Oh, if we'd only see ourselves as our GF's see us... Hawk! You KNOW I think you're amazing, and it actually hurts me that you don't see it... However(!), I KNOW Mr. Wonderful thinks I'M amazing, and sexy and beautiful, and although I've come a LONG way with 20 years of "'steem parties", there are still days I just don't see me that way!

I'm SOOOOO trying to NOT teach my boys to be perfect... their best, yes, but perfect, NO! I will actually catch myself telling them, "Go write me a perfect letter M..." And, THEN, I will say, "ACK! Do your best, do your best!" If they come back, and it's not done as well as I know they can, I ask, "Is this your best work?" Some days the answer's yes, "Fine, go play", and some times they look at me for a long time with those soulful eyes, say nothing, and go give it another shot. And, SOME times, LOL, they will say, "No one's perfect, Mama!" "I know, son, but is this your best?" ;)

IF I can just love them... "unditchal, 'evuh, always"... sigh... I SOOOO do NOT want to be one of "those" Mama's!!!

Sherry

[cmcole]

No, I won't get started on my mother. I'll never find a happy spot there.