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In our household, and in my own family from my earliest memories onward, making Christmas cookies was a cherished holiday tradition. With my mother, we pulled out all the stops, making gorgeous sugar cookies in the shapes of reindeers, Santas, stars, trees, wreaths, candy canes, bells, angels, and snowmen, each handpainted with colored icing. (Absolutely nothing low carb about it, but unabashedly delicious and traditional.)

I still have–and treasure–my mother’s set of copper and tin Christmas cookie cutters and I break them out every year for a Christmas cookie extravaganza with my grandangels. Last year, for instance, our granddaughter helped for the first time and we have great photos of her in our large farmhouse sink, with her mother, our daughter-in-law Katherine, valiantly trying to wash off all the colored frosting the grandangel had painted on herself instead of on the cookies.

Just today, though, our other dear daughter-in-law, Jamye, sent me this recipe for Christmas Cookies that I couldn’t resist passing along. While the sugar and dried fruit in it makes it not entirely ‘low carb kosher’ as you’ll see these ingredients will prove not to be problematic when it’s all said and done.

Christmas Cookie Recipe (follow directions closely)

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large
bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer… Beat one cup of
butter until fluffy in a large bowl. Add one teaspoon
of sugar… Beat again. At this point it’s best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup …
just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add
to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick
the frigging fruit off floor…

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in
the beaterers just pry it loose with a shpoon. Sample
the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon
juice and strain your nuts. Add one table… add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

Enjoy and Have a Mery Verry Chrishtmash…or shomefink!

10 Comments

  1. Ohhhhh man, that’s a ripper! I just blew coffee all over the computer screen…….
    Cheers,
    George

    COMMENT from MD EADES: Oops…sorry for the mess 😉

  2. That’s hilarious! I was looking forward to a low-carb cookie and got THAT. Several belly laughs, anyway.

    COMMENT from MD EADES: And you know what they say about laughter…good for the soul and carb free!

  3. I creadid your rezipe today, and it was foolproof! Drank the hole batzh. The kids loved it! Stove didn’t come quite clean in the dishwasher, tho.
    Need a new window now…

    Thanks for the laugh!

  4. I have a Thanksgiving Recipe for Pot Roast to, um, go along with your desert. ;-D

    Just click on my name. ;-D

    Thanks for the laugh. ;-D

    COMMENT from MD EADES: And if you make this …um…dessert, my suggestion is to make the pot roast first. 😉

  5. Great recipe, but I think it would be better if you substitute a good-quality whiskey for the tequila, give it a more Southern flavor.

    COMMENT from MD EADES: Can’t say I would disagree: Knob Creek, Wild Turkey, Blanton’s Single Barrell…nothing wrong with that idea.

  6. I’ve been reading on your site and your sense of humor is delightful!!

    COMMENT from MD EADES: Why, thank you.

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